The last post I made was a month and half ago. My life has gone through quite a lot of turmoil in the interim.

I lost my job due to downsizing in the small startup that I was working in. This was a shock to the system that has still left me reeling. I’m good at my job and a dedicated worker, so I didn’t see it coming – but I’m also highly paid, and I guess that I should have seen the signs that the company wasn’t doing as well as it should have. I’m deep in the job search process, and learning a lot about myself and the industry as I go along. I enjoy the challenge of technical interviews and I enjoy meeting and talking to new people, but I wish that I could have done this under different circumstances. This is just a reminder that no, it doesn’t matter if you’re the best at what you do, and no, the company isn’t your family. It’s a business interest that sees you as a number, and it is your responsibility to ensure that your worth and your identity is never in their hands, but only in yours.

I lost my remaining grandparents – both my father’s mother and father died just three weeks apart. They were old and in poor health so it wasn’t a shock, but it’s still a “memento mori” sort of moment.

We’ve had more rockets, on-again off-again peace agreements, and are now in constant existential murk of “what does the future hold?” The only clarity from all this is that if we want a future here, we absolutely must have a new and better government come autumn.

My journaling practice has become patchy – the more stress I’m under the more I need it, and the more stress I’m under the less likely I am to pick up a pen and actually journal. I am still trying to figure out how to get back into the habit.

I got a cold, so the past two weeks my training has suffered. I only just got back to weight lifting, and I’ll see if my battered lungs can handle a bit of run and swim this weekend. Ever since my chemotherapy upper respiratory infections have been taking me longer to recover from (it’s a known long term side effect of the treatment), and as my mood is directly tied to how much exercise I manage to get in, it’s been rough.

I have been rucking more, to make up for not being able to run or swim. Rucking is just a fancy name for walking with weight on your back. As a treat for finishing my certification earlier in the year, I bought myself a GoRuck Basic Rucker and a 10lb ruck plate. I’ve been using it a few times a week to get more out of walks in my neighbourhood.

I’ve been using social media to numb some of these anxieties, and it’s not a good thing. It’s time for a
“detox” and to get back to using my free time for things that actually benefit me and the world, not a group of billionaires.