In April 2022 I sat down and wrote the first part of what was supposed to be a long term writing project, the toughest one that I wrote yet. It was called “Hair Part 1” and it was part of something that I called “The Cancer Project”. The plan was to write a series of posts, all taken from my personal experience with cancer, and the point was to open a window into a very scary disease — humanizing it and the people who go through it, and arming the reader with information. 

I didn’t post anything beyond that first snippet of a post, and I didn’t draft any more posts in the project. I was 4 months out of treatment when I wrote that post, and it was excruciatingly difficult to write. After I posted the post, I decided to focus on writing about other topics, easier topics. Topics that anyone else could write about, if I’m being honest. Sure, I could write a pen review from my own unique perspective, and of course people would read it because it’s useful and interesting to see different takes on the same thing, but then again… “so what, who cares?”

That challenge, “so what, who cares?” was something one of my professors used to say, and at the time it drove me mad. The point was that we didn’t have to make an argument, we had to make the reader care about the argument, we had to explain why it was meaningful and important, not just why we thought it was true. Pen and ink reviews are awesome, but every time I post one nowadays, I feel guilty. I know that I could be writing about other things, things that can maybe help people. 

Last week this video popped into my YouTube feed, from the wonderful Struthless channel. Campbell Walker is starting a new community challenge meant to get people creating and posting their creations. It’s called Alphabet Superset, and the idea is to pick a theme, pick a creation medium and a publishing medium, make some aesthetic choices to limit yourself, and for 26 weeks create and post something that fits this framework — one piece a week, with the topic being tied to a letter of the alphabet. I looked at the schedule, and quickly realized that I won’t be able to follow it, but that didn’t matter. The challenge presented an opportunity, and more specifically a framework. I no longer had a giant abstract monster of a topic to maul, I could break it down to smaller chunks, albeit somewhat arbitrary ones. 

Running through the 26 letters of the alphabet proved to me very quickly that my issue won’t be so much finding a topic that would fit the letter, but having too many things to cover per letter.  “Ah!” my brain said, “an excellent reason not to start!” As you can see, it’s going to be a struggle between my need to write this project and my brain’s resistance to it. The odds aren’t in my favour: my brain, and specifically my PTSD, has shown itself to be a ruthless and tenacious opponent. It’s going nowhere, and it *will* fight me all the way through. However, I plan to dodge, feign and crawl my way through this one way or another. My PTSD may be persistent but I’m STUBBORN. 

On to the practical side: I will be running through 26 letters of the alphabet. As the next three months are travel heavy, I won’t be able to stick to the “one post a week” schedule. Each letter will get at least one (maybe more?) blog post, and perhaps also a comic that I’ll create (no promises). I will clearly title all the posts in this project “The Cancer Project” so if you are one of those people who is absolutely terrified of cancer to the point of being incapable of hearing the word, you can avoid reading them. I do encourage you to grit your teeth and read them though. It may end up helping you, it may up end helping you help a loved one. The reality is that almost all of us will encounter cancer face to face at some point in our lives — whether as caregivers for a parent, sibling, spouse or child, or as cancer patients ourselves. So it’s useful to remember this:

Knowledge is power, and knowledge saves lives.